HUMOUR 5

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Weekday evening. 7pm. Delhi metro. This little detail is important as you can guess the rush inside. Rush might just be an understatement. I would prefer to call it METRO.ZIP

A couple was standing at the door, hand in hand. As the doors were about to close, a guy rushes in and collides with Romeo. With a raised fist as if to deliver a punch, Romeo shouted “you should have taken the next train”. Our guy calmly responds “thanks for the advice bro. Will consider it next time” and offers a hand shake.

His presence of mind avoided a heated argument and earned himself a handshake from Romeo’s girlfriend.


A man got everything he need just by his instant presence of mind

There was a very poor, blind man living a destitute life alone without even a family. One day, God has pity for his desperate sadness and appeared before him.

“Ask what you want.” God said to the poor man gazing into his desperate eyes. “But you can make just a single wish.”

For a second he stood quite still and surprised thinking of his dreadful condition.

I want to see my grandchildren eating in silver plates.”

He got his eyes, prosperity and a family just by his immediate presence of mind.

A 33 year old intoxicated man was brought into the Emergency Room after being found passed out in the middle of an intersection. He did not appear to have any injuries. He had both urinated and defecated in his pants. The physician came in to evaluate him and he started explaining his predicament. This particular physician was known to be very curt and honest in her conversations with patients.

“I was abused as a child by my step dad,” he began. “I have a lot to deal with in my head. I drink to forget about what happened to me.”

“You can play the victim but you won’t get any sympathy from me,” she said. “I was abused as well and my response was to succeed despite having every excuse not to.”

“I wish I was more like you,” he said pitifully. “I am afraid that if I keep this up I am going to hit rock bottom.”

“If you don’t recognize being passed out drunk in the middle of an intersection with your pants full of piss and shit as rock bottom, there is nothing anyone can say to you that is going to help you,” she said.“Honey, this is ROCK BOTTOM.”

“You make a valid point,” he said.

One fine day me and my crush were strolling in the evening chit chatting and enjoying the cool weather.

She was carrying an expensive mobile phone in her hand. While walking her foot hit a brick lying on the road and she stumbled and fell along with her mobile phone.

Now what would a normal boy do in such a case, Help the girl get back on her feet and ask if she is fine. Right?

But no, I did something utterly stupid.

Instead of helping her get up, I was busy inspecting her phone for any physical damage. Mind it, it was one expensive piece.

And there she was staring at me completely amazed and unable to digest the fact that I was more worried about the phone than her.

Need I say more?

PS: I am a Mechanical Engineer!!!




Here is a simple trick gypsies use.

They drop a large golden ring on the floor at a metro station or on the street. Something like this.

Then they wait for some pedestrian to approach to find it. As the person is bending over to pick it up, the gypsy guy grabs it first and claims he found it first.

Ususally an argument unfolds and they go back and forth who found it.

Then the gypsy guy offers to accept a small amount of money so he gives up on the ring.

The small amount is still way more than the real value of the “golden” ring.

The person then walks home thinking he/she can take the ring to a pawn shop and get some money.

Only when he/she talks to the pawn shop employee, he/she realizes the ring is fake gold has very little value.


Here’s an example of presence of mind shown in the courtroom which has humor and sarcasm at it’s best.

Background: Mr. PK Atre was a prominent Indian writer. In one of his articles, he used the word ‘donkey’ to address a corrupt local politician(councilor). This enraged him and he filed a lawsuit against Mr Atre. This is how it went in the courtroom.

Judge: Do you admit that you called him a donkey?

Mr Atre: Yes.

Judge: As you have admitted your mistake and being this your first offence, you are relieved from any punishment.

Mr Atre: Thank you My lord. It is admissible that you shouldn’t address a councilor as a donkey, but is it okay to address a donkey as a councilor?

Judge: Yeah it’s fine. You can call anything to a donkey. He won’t understand.

Mr Atre:(While addressing the same politician) Hello Mr. Councillor.

The whole courtroom filled with laughter over the embarrassment of the corrupt politician.

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