Yes I do regret my marriage.

I’m 29 an Indian women, hail from North part of India. I got married when I was 26. It was an arrange marriage, being an single daughter in the house I wanted to be independent and wanted to primarily focus on my career. I was not ready for marriage then. Like every Indian parents thinking, even my parents thought “yeah, she  has  completed her education we should marry her off now”. So my parents started looking for a perfect groom for me, they selected few and finally they matched a guy for me. We were from the same city but he was working in Noida. An IT job and was earning in 6 figures and a  couple of foreign tours under his belt. 

He was smart,who works hard, good looking man. We liked each other, our parents meet, had a formal meeting after that day we exchanged phone number used to chat whole day and talk for hours. 

One  day I asked him jokingly “how much money will you take to marry me”. His exact words were  ” I earn in lakhs per months am not marrying you for money”. That moment I feel for him. I told him about my past relationships, I had two relationships and was physically involved with both of them. I made it clear to him and I was devoted to only him, even he had a couple of relationships and just got out of serious relationship. I asked him if he still loves his ex or she is the reason we are getting married. He denied and said he moved on with his life and happy to have me.

After 3 months his parents, him and some relatives came to our place to fix the engagement date and after that marriage date. Now come the big part.  DOWRY . Their parents demanded

40 lacs in cash

And 2 BHK flat in noida ( which will cost us around 50 lacs)

After hearing that from  his parents right there I texted him asking about what the hell was happening? He didn’t reply  and being  a single daughter my parents accepted the deal. I should have called off the marriage on that day itself, but I started to like him.

It’s not about the money, both my parents are working, and we belong to upper middle class. What hurt me was he promised me one thing and he did the exact opposite thing.

I called him in the evening and had a serious discussion, all he was telling was he mother wants us to have a happy future, I don’t own a house in noida and my job is not permanent. We need to have a better future.

Fast forward, Engagement was fixed for the next month.  Within  3 months marriage was fixed. After our engagement he use to come every weekend and even I went to Noida  couple of time and we got physically intimate before marriage.

We got married on a grand scale. It so happened after our marriage he had a trip to Germany for 4 months, he convinced his administration so that he can take me with him. They agreed and I was one of the happiest girl on the planet. We had our honeymoon in Germany. Those four months were the best days of our marriage, after our return I got a job in Noida. We were both working. Everything was going great we celebrated our first anniversary with his parents. After 1.2 year, I started to observe a slight change in him, he started to come home late, every month he was going on a trip (Mumbai, Bangalore chennai, Kerala) he was going very often, when he was on trip he used  to text me I’m busy has a tight schedule can’t able to call or text”. After he returns he use to treat me very well and sex was great. I never doubted him.

I got pregnant and want to disclose this news to him, he was on a trip to Bangalore, I called him and he answered the call.  I  shared the news and while hanging the phone I heard a female’s voice. I was shocked, bit sad was in dilemma either to call him again or not.

He came back had a huge party, he was happy and I was so happy for him. Fast forward to a month and my visit to doctor started.

He again went to trip to chennai, I had a appointment with doctor, that day I was going in a cab to visit doctor, half way to the hospital I saw his car parked near a hotel( he usually take his car and park in the airport) he was coming out of that place with a girl along with his bag. I called him and he didn’t answer the call. I took a picture of them. He came home that evening, and we had huge fight and in that heated argument he confessed that he was having an affair with a girl, and the girl was his ex. They got together some 7 months back, and they  were having an affair behind my back. I cried that day, cried until I slept. I didn’t talk to anyone about this, I was not sure, do I have to tell this to my parents or just forgive him and give him another chance, I din’t want to ruin my future and now I was pregnant. In my life I never felt so weak. Next day he came home very late, again we had an argument he confessed he was with his girl friend and demanded divorce. I just died that day. The  earth scattered beneath my feet. My life was over. I called my parents.  They   came running the very next day. His parents were also present along with his elder brother and family. I never saw my parents especially my dad so helpless, I never saw my dad crying. Worst was when his mom said, your daughter doesn’t  know how to satisfy my son, if she knew he would have not searched for happiness in another girl. That was the worst comment coming from a  woman  whom I called mother. At my home I was feeling hopeless losing everything I built, that house, happiness everything.

I came to my parents place, after two months, done with divorce. I got aborted when I was two months old pregnant. It was a hell to me, I never want my enemy to go through that pain. I did that because I don’t want to give birth to a child whose father was the worst person  in my life. And what all he did with my life. I don’t want my child to know anything about him , and I definitely don’t want a fatherless life for him.

Now, it’s been almost 1.6 years I am single, am not staying with my parents anymore.  Doing a  job in Bangalore, well paid job and I can take care of myself.  I’m a self dependent women.  Have  a bright future. I still spend some sleepless nights thinking, crying and laughing at my life and how it shaped out. I was happy women until I saw him with his ex now so called wife.

This is my story and yeah I regret my marriage. Still wiping my eyes.

Nisha Mishra 



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