The decision to cancel my marriage to my 5.5 years long “boyfriend”
We had been dating for 5.5 years and were supposed to get married by this year end. Both sets of parents agreed to our ourdecision.Specially his.
Last year he relocated to this new city. I too (un)fortunately got an offer in a start up in that particular city. My parents were against me relocating before the marriage as they were skeptical that our hormones might lead to a live in. I coaxed my parents to agree to this. It was difficult, but finally they gave in after I promised that I am not going to be in a live in relationship. I left my parents, my city, my friends and my first company ( a CMM Level 5) and relocated to the new city where I knew no one except him.
1st instance: My father asked my boyfriend to click some pics of me and him. My boyfriend clicked once or twice, then started getting irritated. My father was too engrossed in spending some time with his daughter that he failed to notice this. My bf took me aside and shouted at me for my father’s behavior. I was shocked and taken aback.
2nd instance : An old friend of mine called me up and asked me to meet him. I said “Sure, but my bf is also in the city. Since he doesn’t know anyone in the city, are you comfortable if he tags along?”. He was absolutely fine with it. We were meeting after 9 years. The whole evening we kept on chatting about old school memories and buddies. My bf kept quiet. While coming back home, my friend dropped my bf first and then me (as he lived near my place). I called up my bf to inform that I have reached safely. He answered “ Oh! I thought you are at his flat sleeping with him”. I was dumbstruck this time. I cried a lot.
He apologized that night but I could’t forgive him. I recollected some more such incidents that happened over this 5 years which I had somehow ignored. What he then told me was shocking : “You came here for money , not for me. How can I trust a girl who had a relation before. You people can only sleep around with people. How can you guarantee me that you will not meet and sleep around with your school friends after our marriage. I will not spend a single penny on our reception. Don’t get more than 10 people from your side for our marriage. You are just waiting for another pimp to pull you away from me. You just have lust for money.”
That was it. I could not believe my ears. All the anger made me teary eyed. My ears were hot with the Amritvani(Golden words) he was preaching , I was trembling . For a while I was numb. On gaining senses, I disconnected the call and called up my parents and said that I don’t want to get married to him. They initially thought that it was one of those usual fights. But they could sense the seriousness in my voice. I told them almost everything by replacing the abusive words into normal ones. It was hard for my parents to accept the truth because the marriage date was almost fixed and all relatives were aware. And I completely understand their confusion. But slowly they understood the situation and stood by my decision. The marriage was called off.
The last call I received from him , he said “Tujhse achha to main in 5.5 saalon mein ek randi rakh leta..atleast kuch kam to a jati”.
Yes, he nailed it.
Additional info :
I supported him for all these 5 years financially. He still owes me 1.8 Lakhs. ( and yes..he still thought that a randi(whore) would have been a better choice than me) because he had a loan on his shoulders.His parents knew that I financially support him and never objected.All this incident happened within 1 month of me shifting to that new city .I still don’t know why he behaved the way he did. Why he said what he said.I am still clueless.
I feel very lucky that somehow I gathered all the courage that day to cancel the wedding. It hurts a lot to come out of such a relationship which was destined to result in a marriage and when you loved that person with all your heart.
But I think the decision I took not only changed and saved my life bit also that of my family because such people rarely ever change in the future.
Edit 1: Thank you for the support and kind words.
Never expected that this answer would collect 700+ upvotes. It gives me the boost to believe that the decision I took was not wrong ( bcz for many compromising is always the solution.
It took me long to take the step but yes now I am much more stronger now. I am not dependent on any one emotionally anymore. I am much more independent.
And yes I am loving my single hood and yes this phase is beautiful.